My Mr. Beer "CinnaBust" Holiday Travesty

Okay, I'd hoped to get through December without dredging up this painful recent episode, but a kind visitor left a comment asking if I'd brewed anything else with my Mr. Beer set since the initial success of the Bewitched Red Ale. Alas, I have and it weren't pretty.

I attempted to brew a nifty sounding cinnamon concoction but, due to my failure to properly and promptly grasp the difference between a teaspoon and a tablespoon, the result can only be considered an unmitigated disaster and I'll probably be kinder in my comments regarding professionally brewed beers from here on out.

The recipe - taken straight from the Mr. Beer website - called for orange zest, cinnamon, nutmeg, honey, and one or two other ingredients, all of which became immaterial when I made the mistake of dumping 3 TABLESPOONS of cinnamon in the wort instead of the 3 TEASPOONS called for in the recipe. I caught the mistake too late and upon hearing me proclaim my disappointment with a quick series of grown up epithets, my wife (who is vastly smarter than I) said, "Just dump it out and start over."

Being a frugal, tightwad son-of-a-gun, I declined to take that good advice, opting instead to delete the remaining spices from the mix, and sticking solely with the orange zest, honey and "loads o' cinnamon" brewing model. I let the stuff percolate in the Mr. Beer keg for a couple weeks, maybe three, but was not encouraged when the yeast immediately dropped to the bottom of the keg in about the first 24 hours.

When it came time to bottle the stuff, I found an odd, slimy green goo laying in the bottom of the keg when the bottling was complete. Undaunted, I packed up the bottles in a plastic-lined box and squirreled them away to brew some more. Then, a couple weeks later, I placed the bulk of the bottles in the fridge to begin their one month lager. At about the one week lagering stage I sampled one of the small test bottles. Ugh. Fiasco.

The stuff poured like thick, sludgy, orange juice concentrate and actually looked like badly mixed orange juice in the glass. There was very little carbonation and that was bad, but what was worse was the smell. OMG (as the hip kids say). It smelled of chemicals - plastic or maybe kerosene. Bleech!

I'm not a chemist (even if the beer I brew smells like chemicals) so I can't put my finger on just exactly when the whole process fell off the tracks but dumping in too much cinnamon may very well have been part of the problem. The other problem is that I rarely heed good advice until well after it is given. Recall that I was advised to dump the wort and start over. Well, I dumped out 6 one-liter bottles this evening.

Whew. With that off my chest, I suppose I can go back to the good beers now, but yes, I will be brewing again, once I wash the smell and taste of kerosene out of these bottles.

Birthday Sink Toss and Not So Peachy

I celebrated a birthday last week. I popped open a “vintage” beer in honor of the occasion. I drank a little less than half the contents, then unceremoniously poured the remaining beer down the sink. C’mon Dogfish Head, get your act together!

I purchased a single bottle of Dogfish Head Brewing’s Raison d’ Extra several months ago – for an ungodly sum that I will not divulge here. I’ve coddled and babied that bottle all this time, waiting for the right opportunity and figured the occasion of my birthday ought to be as good a time as any. The bottling date on this thing was September 2006 and despite the fact that I wasn’t wild about their 90 Minute IPA, I hoped for the best.

“Raison Ejecta”

This stuff has a fruity, malty smell in the bottle and an alcohol bite even in the aroma. It pours a dark red color that’s appealing to the eye but the weak head is a disappointment. The taste is completely liquor or wine like and tingles in your mouth like mouthwash or perhaps like alka-seltzer tablets. Maybe a single 12-ounce bottle could be split (along with the price) between 3 or four drinkers for slow sipping. Given that I did not have anyone with me who was willing to help me, I poured a good deal of this down the sink.

“Peachy Cabron!”

A few days later, keeping an open mind, I purchased a single bottle of Dogfish Head’s Festina Peche, a self-described “malt beverage brewed with peach concentrate.” All I can say is that it’s better than the Raison d’Extra, which is to say I didn’t pour it down the sink. Surprisingly, this one has only a slight fruit smell in the bottle and pours with no head and no beading. Looks like fruit juice in the glass and the notes in my beer notebook include “weird,” and “tastes like watered down juice.”

Maybe I’m just not hip or "off-centered," but frankly, I’m beginning to think that quirky advertisements are about all that Dogfish Head has to offer. I’ve sampled three beers produced by Dogfish Head (90 Minute Imperial IPA, Raison D’Extra and Festina Peche). I’ve also sampled one beer that I brewed at home using the Mr. Beer home brewing kit. So far Dogfish Head, I like what I brew better than what you brew.

Bewitched Red Ale: Okay So Far...

Figuring it was time to let the bird fly or risk its premature death in the nest, I popped the top off of one of our bottles of Mr. Beer Bewitched Red Ale last night – not one of the liter bottles but one of the 12 ounce Gatorade bottles that have all but tried to explode these past few weeks. I sampled a second bottle this evening.

To update, I placed four liter bottles and six 12-ounce bottles in the refrigerator last Saturday (a little over four days ago now), leaving two one liter bottles to remain at room temperature for a bit more bottle fermenting. Admittedly, it’s been less than the one week prescribed by Mr. Beer experts, but with the Gatorade bottles looking like they might burst, I figured I might as well begin trying them. I sampled one last night and one this evening.

At this point, the Red Ale is highly carbonated, even having come from the back of the refrigerator. It had a sour/sweet smell both in the bottle and in the glass. The second bottle actually had something of a berry smell to it, which seems a good reason to avoid reusing Gatorade bottles, I think.

It poured a lovely red-amber color with a full thick head. (Yeah, that's a picture of it to the right, there.) I had to back off both times to avoid overflowing the glass and the pour for the second bottle was more active than the first. It has a thin mouth feel and a malty taste that is rather dry with a quick finish.

Though I'm a tad underwhelmed, I can say at this point that the first batch from the Mr. Beer system wasn’t a total loss and I don’t intend to pour the remaining product down the drain; after all, I can always let it sit longer. Tomorrow I’ll deliver half the beer to Johnny Southside and I’ll keep the four liters lagered in the back of the fridge along with a single bottle at room temperature at least until the 30th, then we’ll see where we go from there. At least one Mr. Beer home brewer has made the case for lagering the beer longer to allow its flavor to develop. Additionally, Senor Brewmaster has suggested ditching the Gatorade bottles and I couldn’t agree more, especially after smelling berries in tonight’s bottle of Red Ale. These people know what they’re doing. Why should I try to reinvent the wheel?

Now, what beer recipe to order next? Maybe a pumpkin lager? How about a nice stout for Christmas? The prickly pear cactus have bloomed and their fruit pods are beginning to ripen; hmm, I wonder if a prickly pear wheat beer would be okay this late in the year? I’ll keep you posted.

The (Late) Session

Never one to ride along with a busload of zealots, here I am taking up the rear of the caravan, furiously pedaling my unicycle.

The August installment of “The Session” was focused on anniversaries. I’ll confess that I have no idea in what regard The Session dealt with anniversaries, but since the first Friday of August fell on August 1st, I’ve got an anniversary for you. Colorado Day!

Colorado was admitted to the union on August 1, 1876 and no doubt on August 2nd, some fellow emerged from the Front Range (perhaps where Clear Creek enters what is now Golden, Colorado) and said, “Big deal! Where’s the whorehouse?” Yeah, I’d still live in Colorado if I could, but I don’t and waxing nostalgic about it just makes me pine for it all the more, so let’s get to the beer, shall we?

In honor of Colorado’s birthday and to have something clever to post for The (Late) Session, I popped the top off of a bottle of Left Hand Brewing’s Imperial Stout. This stuff clocks in at a hefty 10.4% abv and touts itself as “Black Ale to brighten your day.” It smells of roasted or burnt coffee in the bottle and roasted nuts in the glass. There is also a slight alcohol scent from the glass that presages the alcohol bite in the taste.

In the glass, this imperial stout is as dark as coffee with a medium to weak head. In the tasting one is immediately hit by the thick mouth feel, then the alcohol bite at the back of the palate and in the nasal cavity. A second pour yielded a more substantial head with nice lacing and the taste was more nutty, which may have been due to the more active head or because the beer had warmed slightly in the bottle – or both.

This is the second beer that I’ve tried from Left Hand brewing. As an example of the style, Left Hand Imperial Stout ranks well, but for me its liquor-like qualities place it at a disadvantage. I’ll be content to fall back to their Milk Stout in the future and I’ll honor them as an example of Colorado’s up-and-coming craft-brewing heritage.

Here’s where you can find more dope on this beer, this brewer and this topic in general:

For starters, The Beverage Tasting Institute has a nifty discussion of stouts and porters. It’s worth a peek.

Next, pay a visit to Left Hand Brewing's website. Browse around, buy a hat, buy a glass.

Beer Advocate gives this stout high marks.

Here’s a link to the governor’s proclamation for Colorado Day 2008.

Happy anniversary, Colorado!

And, just in case you’re interested in knowing more about what the August installment of “The Session” was really all about, here are some links to real beer blogs and their take on “anniversary beer.” (These folks do this stuff better than I....or is that "better than me...?)

The Barley Blog was the designated host for the August installment of The Session.
The Brew Site
Lyke 2 Drink
Brewed For Thought

Mr. Beer Update: The six 12-ounce bottles went into the back of the refrigerator this morning, the bulging caps having grown ever more prominent. In order to contain any leakage that may be caused by a premature evacuation of the contents, I've wrapped all the bottles up in a couple of plastic bags. There isn't enough room in the fridge for all the liter bottles, so I'll probably begin lagering just a couple of them, give them a week or so, then transport them to Johnny Southside, who will be splitting the first batch with me.

My thanks and appreciation to those of you who've posted comments here in the past and in particular to those of you who've offered comments and advice regarding the Mr. Beer project. I hope there will be more batches and I hope you'll keep visiting and leaving comments when you can.

Quick Riffs

I've stacked up such a slush pile of beers in my notebook, it seems a good idea to run though some notables in quick fashion. I'll call this recurring feature "quick riffs" until something more appropriate strikes me. This time around: Redhook ESB, Brou Czech Pils and Bridgport IPA

Redhook ESB Original Ale
Sampled on August 5, 2008

Has a grassy smell in the bottle and a bitter, hoppy aroma in the glass. Pours an orange-bronze color with a nice head that is gone quickly. Bitter taste with hints of sweetness and a mild alcohol bite to both the smell and the taste. This isn’t a bad beer but still a little too bitter for my tastes long-term. A nice intermediate brew for those wanting something on the bitter side but not overpowering.

Brou Czech Pils
Sampled on May 29, 2008

Sports a malty smell in the bottle and bread or malt in the glass. Appears the color of dark brass and presents a weak head that disappears quickly. Tastes like cardboard, otherwise nothing special. Though I won’t try it again, Brou Czech wasn’t too bad paired with grilled sausage and chicken.

Bridgeport India Pale Ale
Sampled on August 11, 2008

This IPA gives off a medium hop smell in the bottle and pours a nice gold-orange color with lots of sediment. There’s a surprising hint of citrus in the taste. I didn’t think IPA’s could be this good; pretty dry though. Bridgeport IPA has sort of a smoky hint at the finish. I’ll track this one down again.

Mr. Beer Update:
The red ale was transferred to bottles this past Sunday morning with maple syrup used as a priming sugar. Six liter bottles were filled along with six 12-ounce Gatorade bottles that seemed to be stout enough to handle the build up of carbonation.

Almost immediately the bottles stiffened up as the gas/carbonation built up inside them. By the second day I notice with some alarm that the orange caps of the Gatorade bottles have developed a pronounced bulge on the top. I’m concerned that they may crack or split open and we’ll be out that beer. I may move them to lagering in the refrigerator a bit sooner than the PET bottles, which seem to be holding up well. All in all, things look hunky-dory and the contents of the clear plastic Gatorade bottles presents a nice brown-red color. I think this might work out!

Honey Brown and the Wheat Sisters

Summertime seems to bring with it a raft of fruity, wheat beers and in general I’m not a huge fan, but I’ll admit that they can be refreshing, especially if you live in the land of the perpetual sunburn. So, here I’ve tried an old standby along with a couple of the fruited up wheat beers.

Dundee Honey Brown is common fare in some parts, or so I’m told. I recall having tried it some time back and when I stumbled across a six-pack at the local store recently I figured I’d give it another go. It smells a bit sour in the bottle but gives off a distinct honey scent in the class, pouring a dark bronze color with high carbonation and a thick head that quickly vanishes. There is no knock-you-down honey in the taste of this except in the finish, which is nice and it continues to maintain a nice honey smell even after the head is gone. I used a splash or two of Dundee Honey Brown over a piece of salmon on the grill and it turned out nicely. I’ll be having this one again I believe – it’s a honey.

I spied a bottle of Kennebunkport Apricot Wheat in the singles rack at Trader Joe’s. I snagged it along with five other beer orphans in need of a good home. This apricot wheat beer smells very strongly of apricot both in the bottle and in the glass. It pours slightly thick but with no obvious sediment and has a medicinal taste that hints at cough syrup. This beer is all about the apricot and despite the medicine taste, I like it quite a bit; it’s very good and very refreshing. Perhaps something to be had in moderation.

The Leinenkugel’s Sunset Wheat is something I’d first heard about during a visit to the Yardhouse down the road. Our waitress explained that this one tastes like Fruity Pebbles cereal. I didn’t try it that day, but made a mental note that cereal-flavored beer has got to be on my to-do list. So, more recently I had the kids grab a six-pack of Sunset Wheat at the Total Wine store in Glendale. (I’ve sung the praises of Total Wine in the past and I still love their selection and their prices but I must state for the record that their face-to-face customer service is completely lacking. Perhaps one day when they push me too far, I’ll post a more detailed explanation but suffice it to say: Total Wine? Love your store. Your staff? Not so much.)

This one has a definite citrus smell in the bottle – it’s almost medicinal, but it becomes more pleasant once poured. Pours yellow-gold and cloudy and certainly does have a Fruity Pebble taste, though I’ll admit I’m probably not perceptive enough to have made that connection without the tip from our friendly Yardhouse waitress friend. There’s a bit more citrus taste when an orange slice is added – of course. Late in the sampling the medicinal hints return but isn’t too off-putting. Leinenkugel’s Sunset Wheat is a nice enough novelty beer for the summer, but I doubt I’ll seek it out again before the summer season is ended.

What others had to say about Honey Brown and the Wheat sisters...

Honey Brown
If you’re going to New York City and want to find Dundee’s Honey Brown, the folks at Beer Menus can help you. (Personally, I try to do most of my drinking at home, but what the heck.)

Here’s a little post concerning the declining honey bee population and Dundee’s efforts to help: Sustainable is good.

Apricot Wheat
The bloggers at Just Beer recently posted a useful review of Kennebunkport Apricot Wheat. (“Beer info. from normal dudes…” I like that.)

The judging panel at Beer Advocate has not been kind to Kennebunkport Apricot Wheat.

Sunset Wheat
Here’s the dope on Sunset Wheat from Beer Advocate.

The Roughneck at Lagerheads waxes eloquent about his experience with Sunset Wheat back in 2006.

(Mr. Beer brewing update: We convened a meeting of the bathtub brewing council and decided to let the red ale percolate in the Mr. Beer keg for a few more days - perhaps up to the three week mark, which will be next Sunday. I've not checked in on the little project in the last day or two, but a sample taste tonight is probably in order.)

Mr. Beer Update At One Week Plus...

I’ve been like a mother hen worrying over a clutch of eggs this past week.

I’ve not seen any noticeable activity in the Mr. Beer fermenting keg. There’s been something of a “bathtub ring” round the inside of the keg almost since day one. We’re now at one week and one day – as of Monday – and I’m concerned that something didn’t pop.

A check of the Mr. Beer Fans Forum yielded some useful advice along with frequent admonitions to be patient and leave the thing alone. Several of the local experts suggested actually pouring a bit of the product into a glass for inspection and taste testing. Per their input, if the wort still has any sort of sweet taste to it, then it’s not done fermenting. Ideally, according to the brewing guru’s, the product should taste something like flat beer.

Well, I screwed up some courage and drained a tiny bit into the bottom of a pub glass a couple nights ago. Hmmm. Looks a bit like unpasteurized apple juice, or that funky water that comes out of rusted pipes. I tasted it and at first it didn’t taste sweet, but as I let the liquid work around a bit I found it to have a slight sweet taste – perhaps that was psychosomatic.

Okay, so we’ll let it go until next Sunday and see were we stand. Some on the Mr. Beer Fans forum have stated that an additional (third) week in the keg isn’t out of the question. Damn! I can’t wait that long!

In the meantime, perhaps Johnny Southside and I need to mull over some names for this Red Ale we’re brewing. I’m thinking if it’s a failure, we call it “Flaming Red Failure,” or “Dismal Red Ale.” If that’s the case, I’ll probably take my half of the product and give it to relatives for Christmas – hey, if they love me, they’ll have to love my beer, too! Can’t be any worse than the fruitcake we trade year after year after year!

Stay tuned for more news on the brewfront.

Wait, there’s more!

Even if the actual brewing process isn’t (currently) living up to my expectations, I have to acknowledge that you meet the nicest folks as you hitchhike along the information/fermentation superhighway. Case in point, the kind fellow at Man Made Beer who not only has a nifty Mr. Beer brewing blog but who also acknowledged Beer Rant’s existence by paying us a visit and leaving a nice comment under an earlier post. Fear not, you’ll see Man Made Beer added to the list of beer blogs at left.

I'm falling behind in my beer posts. Recently I've sampled a summer wheat, a triple stout and an ESB. Hopefully I'll get 'round to posting on them in the next few days before I lose track of things!

Skull Splitter - 1 George Washington - 0

I’ll tackle a couple quick topics with this post. I tried a beer that’s listed in Michael Jackson’s beer book and I attempted something of an internet parlor trick. One worked out well, the other, eh, not so much.

I have a personal rule to never bet against someone who claims to be able to do something outrageous. (“How much you wanna bet I can swallow this watermelon?”) Odds are, they’ve already proven to themselves that they can either accomplish the trick or somehow turn the tables such that they’ll take your money without actually doing what they claimed they could do. A couple of beer hall tricks or gimmicks that come to mind are: “Betcha’ can’t find the hitchhiker on the back of this dime,” and the “What would you do if you were stranded in the desert with nothing but this camel?” using a pack of Camel cigarettes. I’m just not enough of a bon vivant that I pull these sorts of tricks off very well, perhaps because I don’t hang out in bars enough to become practiced in the art of the clever beer-drinking parlor trick.

Nevertheless, these sorts of things intrigue me when I see them or hear about them and recently I stumbled on a method that purports to uncap a beer bottle using a regular dollar bill. Following the video instructions – seemingly to the letter – I must confess that all I managed to do was release a bit of the pressure from this bottle of Skull Splitter Scottish Ale. In the end, after two or three tries with the dollar bill, I resorted to using the old tried-and-true method of simply breaking off the neck of the bottle on the bumper of my truck.

As for the beer, it’s a dandy…well not in the dandy sort of sissy way that the term “dandy” conjures up an image of a fellow whose tastes lean more toward the sartorial than the pugilistic. You follow? I mean this is a great beer.

At a tad over 8% abv, this isn’t a session brew, but it’s alcohol bite isn’t off-putting like some of the current slate of hopped up IPAs on the market. It produced a pronounced warming effect and will probably be something I’ll seek out come wintertime.So, while I’ve managed to check off another beer from the late Mr. Jackson’s great book, I’m still struggling with how to uncap a beer bottle using a dollar bill. I think the trick is to take the dollar bill, go to the store and purchase a cheap church key.

(Mr. Beer Brewing Update: We're at week one with the Mr. Beer Red Ale experiment. The keg has been kept at a fairly constant 76 to 78 degree temperature but shows little sign of brewing activity that I can detect. A thin layer of foam about 1/8 inch thick did form on the top and has now begun to float to the bottom. I'll admit to being a bit disappointed, but with another week in the keg, perhaps things will begin to look up.)

Meet Mr. Beer

The 50th Beer Rant Post and a Confession

Ah, my fiftieth post at Beer Rant. This is nice. Didn’t think I’d get here this fast. Didn’t think I’d sample so many new (and old) beers in such a short time and still manage to muddle along largely hangover-free.

There is one trick to the “hangover free” part: Don’t buy whole six-packs of beer you know you only want to sample and if you do, don’t feel compelled to finish the whole six pack, trade it off or give it away. Just make sure you have notes so you’ll be able to remember if it was a beer you want to try again. (I didn’t figure these things out on my own, really. I’ve picked up a ton of great knowledge, largely by visiting the beer blogs that are listed here.)

I don’t suppose folks have logged on here to learn my beer sampling secrets so let’s get right down to confession time. I’m brewing a batch of beer using the Mr. Beer Home Brewing System! It’s a long story and I can already imagine true beer snobs and real “fermentarians” sniggering and looking down their noses…well, if that’s you, go ahead and log off now.

Brief synopsis of events leading up to brew day: The Mr. Beer kit belongs to Johnny Southside. Johnny Southside received it as a gift and hadn’t tried the system. We had discussed home brewing kits in the past and Johnny Southside mentioned he had an as yet unused Mr. Beer system. I proposed that we do a test run at Beer Rant Headquarters and he kindly agreed to loan me the system. I purchased a new set of basic brewing ingredients online at Mr. Beer, the ingredients that came with the kit having long since expired. I chose their Bewitched Red Ale and to round out the brewing experience, I bought a set of their plastic bottles and caps for bottling the end product.

I’m an all-or-nothing sort of guy a lot of the time. When I become interested in something, the interest borders on obsession. I noodled around the Internet and found a Mr. Beer users forum that proved to be a font of good information on the process. One of the first things I found out was that the brewing times listed in the Mr. Beer literature are minimum times and that most regular users of the Mr. Beer system double the time so that the wort is in the brew keg two weeks, in the bottle two weeks, then lagered in the refrigerator at least one week. Well this posed a difficulty once Johnny Southside and I consulted the calendar; we didn’t have enough weekends free to commit to a brewing schedule, so we kept putting off the brew day.

Finally, a window of opportunity presented itself and we boiled up some product, placed it in the brew keg and tossed the yeast yesterday. The wort is now in the keg, stored in a moderately cool room at Beer Rant Headquarters. The hard part begins: waiting.

Perhaps for my 60th or 70th post you’ll see a review of some Beer Rant Special Red Ale or some such! In the meantime, guess I’ll just have to keep sampling these other beers I’ve got stored in the refrigerator.

Thanks for visiting by the way!