Friday, March 6, 2009

Beers For Smart@ss: Pipeline Porter.

I’ll try to keep this brief.

I have reports that Smart@ss is still on the no beer wagon. I’ve also heard that Smart@ss was recently wandering the aisles of a local liquor emporium, a dazed look on his face. I think Smart@ss needs a quick trip to Hawaii. Since I can’t spring for the cost of a flight to Hawaii, I’m springing for the price of a bottle of Kona Brewing’s Pipeline Porter. Who-hoo.

If you visit Musings of a Smart@ss (and I insist that you do), you’ll quickly figure out that he’s infinitely more intelligent than the head cook here at Beer Rant. (His comment about HopKnot IPA: They should come out with a beer that has no hops and call it Hop Not…who are the advertising wizards that came up with this one….I added that last part, sorry, I’m infantile.) You might also ask the question: if he’s such an articulate wordsmith when he’s been barred from drinking beer, what sort of writer, philosopher, scientist might he be when he’s on the brew? If you ask that question, log off and get the hell out of here! You think too much and ask too many questions and you’re spoiling the trip to Hawaii!

So, I’m thinking that Smart@ss has his smelly feet propped up on some convenient piece of rattan furniture on some glistening beach on “the big island” or the “second to largest island” or perhaps “that measly turd of an island that hangs out on the end of the chain,” I don’t know. It’s Hawaii for crying out loud! I don’t imagine the day is too hot or too humid since, though it’s relatively low in abv percentage, Pipeline Porter is probably best suited for a mild climate setting. The pour is coffee dark, the tan colored foam a beauty to behold. The smell is vaguely of coffee and chocolate. The taste is of roasted coffee with a slightly sooty finish. Smart@ss smiles, takes another drink and watches as the sun sets and the local surf folk amble up the beach retreating to their nocturnal haunts.

Cheer’s Smart@ss. Surf's up!

The Great Arizona Beer Festival is this weekend. I won’t be there. Why would I? Someone’s got to get Smart@ss back from Hawaii and he’s certainly not in any shape to fly the plane himself!! Geez! Do you people listen at all?

For a list of all the beers that have been “had” for Smart@ss, go over to Vbg-log where everything is way hipper than here at the Rant – he twitters! Hell I don’t even flutter anymore.



Not brief after all, huh? Suffah.


3 comments:

Dave said...

Another good porter from Hawaii is from Maui Brewing Company - their Coconut Porter is awesome. Also, they have a special Black Pearl Coconut Rum Porter with is amazing. Both very worthy.

the said...

Coconut porter?!?!? I'm about to nut just thinking about it!

Smart@ss said...

Why thank you, as usual :-)

I'm gonna need a weakahol'd beer to start out with anyway...this looks like it should work well, though it may even be overkill. I guess I will find out in a few months.

I am curious as to how you know of my foot odor problems though...I thought the prevailing winds headed from you to me...I'm no atmospheric physicist though, just a smartass.

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